Mission Trip 2009 - Grand Rapids

Perfectionism

"Perfectionism may be the ultimate self-defeating behavior. It turns people into slaves of success—but keeps them focused on failure, dooming them to a lifetime of doubt and depression. It also winds up undermining achievement in the modern world." - Hara Estroff

MaranoPerfectionism has become so part of ourselves and our community that we fight to justify it. We have no idea the true negative impact that it is having on us and our youth. I had no idea until I read this article by Hara Estroff Marano called, “Pitfalls of Perfectionism.” The problem is the line between excellence and perfectionism is so close and it can be hard to distinguish. But they truly are very different. If parents, teachers, or anybody that works with youth understood the negative impact that perfectionism has, I think we would truly evaluate how we can better handle situations.While working with teenagers for almost four years, I have seen the way perfectionisms can affect youth and even me. When you are always trying to be perfect, you don’t allow other people to make mistakes either. You begin to criticize and put each other down. The environment is often unsafe, and scary because of the fear of being seen for who you truly are or being seen as a failure. It keeps people from opening up and sharing. I believe that we do not have to settle for living in the chains of perfectionism. I believe that Christ did not come into this world to add more chains, but came to break them. He came to set us free from the unrealisic standards. This is not an excuse to do whatever we want, but a decision to worship and honor God out of the outflow of a heart that loves Him and wants to serve him because he is God, not because we have to.How do we fight against perfectionism? I think the first step is to be educated on what it is and how it influences our behavior. The second step is to begin to see how we can change our actions to build self confident, risk taking, innovate youth who are not afraid of failing because they know that through failing they become stronger people. We as leaders, parents, and teachers can begin to break this cycle by simply being aware of how to praise youth, and what actions to reinforce.Please read the following article as it expresses the impact perfectionism has, and how to fight against it.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20080225-000002.xml